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Writing Task 1 — Writing an Email

CELPIP Writing Task 1 sample answers — bands 8, 10, 11, 12

About 26–27 minutes · 150–200 words

The prompt

You recently moved to a new city and have been using a local library. You would like to request access to some additional services that the library currently does not offer to you.

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8

Band 8

This response fulfills all three tasks clearly, uses a consistent professional tone, and shows organised paragraphing with mostly accurate grammar. Vocabulary is appropriate but not particularly sophisticated, and sentence structures are competent rather than complex, which places it solidly at Band 8 rather than higher.

Response

Dear Library Services Team, My name is Daniel Cruz, and I recently moved to Brampton and joined your Main Street branch about a month ago. I have been enjoying the library so far, but I would like to ask about a few additional services that could make my visits even more useful. First, I currently have a basic membership that only works at one location. Could you please tell me how I can upgrade to a card that allows me to borrow materials from multiple branches across the city? I often travel for work, so this would be very helpful. Second, I would like to request access to the library's online database and digital resources. I am especially interested in e-books and academic journals, since I am taking an evening course and need reliable sources for my assignments. Finally, I was wondering if your branch offers any study rooms or quiet workspaces that I can book in advance. If so, please let me know the booking process and whether there is a time limit for each session. Thank you for your help. I look forward to your reply. Sincerely, Daniel Cruz

Why this is a band 8

Content/Coherence“My name is Daniel Cruz, and I recently moved to Brampton and joined your Main Street branch about a month ago.”

Provides clear context for the request, though the double 'and' makes the sentence slightly less polished than a Band 10 opener would be.

Task Fulfillment“Could you please tell me how I can upgrade to a card that allows me to borrow materials from multiple branches across the city?”

Directly addresses bullet 1 with a polite, specific question — clear task completion typical of Band 8.

Content/Coherence“I am especially interested in e-books and academic journals, since I am taking an evening course and need reliable sources for my assignments.”

Adds a supporting reason that develops the request, showing adequate expansion expected at this band.

Readability“Finally, I was wondering if your branch offers any study rooms or quiet workspaces that I can book in advance.”

Uses a clear discourse marker and a polite indirect question; grammar is accurate but the structure is fairly standard rather than sophisticated.

Vocabulary“a few additional services that could make my visits even more useful”

Appropriate phrasing that fits the register, though word choice is functional rather than nuanced — characteristic of Band 8.

Task Fulfillment“please let me know the booking process and whether there is a time limit for each session”

Extends bullet 3 with a specific follow-up question, showing the writer is genuinely engaging with the task.

Readability“Thank you for your help. I look forward to your reply.”

A conventional but effective closing; correct register but formulaic, which is why it doesn't push into Band 10 territory.

10

Band 10

This response demonstrates highly proficient writing with clear organization, varied sentence structures, and precise vocabulary. All three tasks are fully addressed with appropriate context and polite professional register, with only minor stylistic imperfections keeping it from band 12.

Response

Dear Library Services Team, I recently relocated to Vancouver and have been thoroughly enjoying the resources at your Kitsilano branch over the past few weeks. As I plan to visit the library more frequently, I would like to inquire about a few additional services. First, could you let me know whether it is possible to obtain a library card that allows me to borrow materials from multiple branches across the city? I often travel between neighbourhoods for work, so having borrowing privileges at various locations would be extremely convenient. Secondly, I would like to request access to the library's online database and digital resources. I am particularly interested in e-books, academic journals, and any language-learning platforms you may subscribe to. Could you explain how I can activate these services with my current membership? Finally, I was wondering whether the library offers bookable study rooms or quiet workspaces. As I occasionally work remotely, having a reservable space would be tremendously helpful. If such rooms exist, please let me know how far in advance I need to book them. Thank you for your assistance. I look forward to your reply. Sincerely, Daniel Kwan

Why this is a band 10

Content/Coherence“I recently relocated to Vancouver and have been thoroughly enjoying the resources at your Kitsilano branch”

Effective opening that establishes context naturally and warmly before making requests, showing sophisticated task framing.

Vocabulary“inquire about a few additional services”

Uses precise, elevated diction ('inquire,' 'additional services') appropriate to a formal request email.

Task Fulfillment“borrowing privileges at various locations would be extremely convenient”

Addresses bullet 1 clearly and adds a supporting reason, showing thoughtful development beyond the minimum.

Content/Coherence“I am particularly interested in e-books, academic journals, and any language-learning platforms you may subscribe to”

Provides specific, concrete examples that make the digital-resources request feel purposeful and detailed.

Vocabulary“tremendously helpful”

Natural use of an intensifier with strong collocation—characteristic of band 10 lexical control, though a band 12 might vary word choice more.

Readability“Could you explain how I can activate these services with my current membership?”

Well-formed indirect question with correct punctuation and polite modal use, demonstrating strong grammatical control.

Task Fulfillment“Finally, I was wondering whether the library offers bookable study rooms or quiet workspaces.”

Clearly addresses bullet 3 with an appropriately hedged, polite structure typical of proficient writers.

Content/Coherence“If such rooms exist, please let me know how far in advance I need to book them.”

Adds a logical follow-up question that anticipates the reader's response—shows strong communicative awareness.

11

Band 11

Each of the three requests is clear, justified with a reason, and phrased in an appropriate formal register. It stops short of band 12 because the structure leans on conventional sequence markers and the sentence shapes vary little.

Response

Dear Ms. Tran, I moved to Brampton two months ago and have been using the Bramalea branch regularly since. There are a few services I would like to ask about. First, I would like to know how to obtain a library card that allows borrowing across all branches in the system. The branch nearest my home holds only part of the collection, and I often find that the title I need is shelved elsewhere in the city. Second, could you tell me whether my membership includes access to the library's online databases and digital resources? I am studying part-time and would make regular use of the journal archives and e-book lending if they are available to me. Finally, I would like to ask whether the library has study rooms or quiet workspaces that members can book in advance, and if so, how far ahead reservations open. Thank you for your help. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Priya Raman

Why this is a band 11

Content/Coherence“There are a few services I would like to ask about.”

A one-line purpose statement frames all three requests before any detail arrives.

Task Fulfillment“The branch nearest my home holds only part of the collection”

Justifies the first request with a reason, which lifts it above a bare ask.

Content/Coherence“I am studying part-time and would make regular use of the journal archives”

Supplies motive, making an otherwise generic request concrete and credible.

Task Fulfillment“and if so, how far ahead reservations open”

Anticipates the natural follow-up question, covering the third instruction thoroughly.

Readability“First, I would like to know how to obtain a library card”

Signposting is clear and effective, but conventional — a band 12 carries structure inside the sentence instead.

12

Band 12

Fully effective and economical: the three requests are structured by meaning rather than by sequence words, each is justified in a single precise clause, and the tone earns the favour it asks for. Sentence length is varied deliberately for emphasis.

Response

Dear Ms. Tran, Since moving to Brampton in February I have used the Bramalea branch almost weekly, and it has made settling into a new city considerably easier. I am writing to ask about three services I have not yet been able to access. The first is a system-wide borrowing card. My local branch holds only a portion of the collection, and the titles I need are frequently shelved at Chinguacousy or South Fletcher; a card that travels between branches would spare me a good deal of unnecessary driving. The second is digital access. I am completing a part-time diploma and would rely heavily on the journal databases and e-book lending, if my membership extends to them. The third is space. Bookable study rooms, or even a designated quiet area, would let me work through evenings that are currently spent at a noisy kitchen table. I would be grateful for any guidance on how to arrange these. Sincerely, Priya Raman

Why this is a band 12

Content/Coherence“it has made settling into a new city considerably easier”

Opens with goodwill that earns the requests — a rhetorical choice raters reward at the top band.

Readability“The first is a system-wide borrowing card.”

Nominal signposting replaces a mechanical 'Firstly', carrying the structure inside the sentence itself.

Vocabulary“a card that travels between branches”

Compact, natural phrasing for a system-wide card; precise without being technical.

Readability“The third is space.”

A three-word sentence used for rhythm and emphasis shows deliberate syntactic variety.

Content/Coherence“evenings that are currently spent at a noisy kitchen table”

A specific, human detail makes the need vivid where a lower band would write 'it is hard to study at home'.

Task Fulfillment“I would be grateful for any guidance on how to arrange these.”

Closes with a single clear action request that covers all three asks at once.

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